Thursday, June 1, 2017

As Ready As I'll Ever Be

From my last post on May 1st to today a lot has happened. Now I'm back...and ready to share.

I've been almost hospitalized twice. Spent a few days drowning in my own tears. I saw some dangerous lows. But, that's not what I'm here to tell you about.

I'm here to tell you about the wonderful highs. The "blessed" part of my past month away from you.

I graduated from high school almost two weeks ago now. I still can't believe it. There were so many days when I was pretty certain I wouldn't make it that long. But I did. I grinned ear to ear upon receiving my diploma. The hard work paid off and for the first time in a long time, I was proud of myself.

I attended a ton of grad parties and soaked in the last of high school. I wore that smile for days following.

And now it's summer.

Thankfully the weather has been cooperating here in Wisconsin and I've been feeling pretty good. Since I've last written I started taking my medication normally. I only skipped one week for graduation so I could be more in touch with my feelings I guess you could say. I really wanted to experience the bittersweetness of saying goodbye and thankfully I was able to do just that. 

I also started seeing my counselor again so I can prepare myself for college, like how to handle the highs and lows of my depression. It's been so incredibly helpful...I walk out of each session feeling on top of the world. It's a real relief to get to talk to somebody and get helpful feedback about how to manage things. For those of you who don't have a counselor, I highly highly recommend seeing one. It makes a world of difference.

This summer is going to fly by as I prepare to take on college this fall. If you haven't already figured it out, I'm so excited.

So here I am. And if I'm being completely honest, I wasn't sure I was going to write anymore. I thought about giving it up and moving on, like I have before. But I can't. I need to write more than you need to even read this blog. It's an outlet and it's where I can see my crazy thoughts out in words. I cannot thank you all enough for sticking by me as I continue to fight. 

While I'll probably be a busy lady this summer, I plan on continuing to write. No promises that it will be on a weekly basis, but I'll try to do it as often as possible. If you haven't already, like Depressed But Blessed on Facebook or follow on Twitter (@depressbless). I'll be able to keep you all updated there! Also, check out my personal Instagram (@marii_mayy) or my VSCO (there's a link on the side!) for some pictures of what I'm up to. 

Hoping you're all doing well. So much love to all of you!

Blessings on top of blessings,
Marissa Mayer

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