Monday, February 27, 2017


Happy Monday! Here's to the start of another week and just a little update for you.

For those of you who don't already know, I play saxophone. I have been for 5 years and this weekend I played a solo at solo and ensemble. This is essentially an event where you get judged on your performance of a particular piece. Last year, I had gotten to the state level. This year, I worked even harder and was determined to make another trip to state, especially seeing it's my senior year.

I stood at the front of the room and introduced myself confidently. I knew this piece like the back of my hand and was more than prepared to do well. And I nailed it. I felt the music move and I was calm. The judge said some really positive things about my performance and then a little bit of critique which wasn't unusual. I left feeling confident and returned later only to see that I didn't make it to state.

I'm not going to lie, I cried. I sat in a Starbucks parking lot and sobbed. Beyond feeling like total trash about the fact that I didn't feel good enough, I recognized that it was somewhat stupid. Why did I feel so bad about this? I knew it was a relatively small problem, and I hated the fact that it felt so...big. Thankfully, a night well spent with my music family made me feel better (shoutout to my band/choir friends for your support).

On a brighter note, my dad has finally agreed to let me get some help. I have an appointment to see a psychiatrist in mid-March and I've never been more excited to receive treatment. I'm praying that that goes well.

Other than that, I guess life's been pretty uneventful. I filled out a scholarship application and I'm currently working on finding a roommate. I hope you all have a wonderful week! Sending love and prayers.

Marissa Mayer 

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