Monday, January 23, 2017

A Little Too Deep

Wow. Another Monday has come around. Time certainly is flying by.

Not a whole lot going on here...I had a wonderful time singing with my chamber choir family at church yesterday. I genuinely love being able to worship with such wonderful friends who all share such a deep passion for music.

Unfortunately, yesterday went south shortly thereafter. Not only did the Packers lose, but I felt hurt by some friends. I went to a get-together with a really positive mindset and was ready to have an enjoyable time. It was okay for awhile, but being as sensitive as I am, I was let down when things came up in conversation that didn't need to be talked about. I immediately felt left out, and as if I were standing on my own side of the fence. I became overly observant of the way things were said or I dug too deep into the context of their words. Ultimately, I let myself care about things I should have ignored. Classic anxiety. Making life a little more difficult than necessary.

Maybe you've had people tell you to let it all "roll off your shoulders". Well, anxiety makes your shoulders flat, therefore everything sits there until you find the strength to push it off. Here's a good resource I read, just in case you don't understand my perspective:

Needless to say, I left. I sat at home alone, crying because I was angry. Crying because I was upset and confused. A little while later my best friend came over and we worked on homework, listened to music, and had a good (and productive) time together.

I interrupt this post for a small shoutout:

Meg, if you read this, I just wanna remind you how much I love you, and how wonderful you've been to me these past 6 years. You're my rock, my favorite hug, my reason to laugh, and a beautiful sister in Christ. You're one of the reasons I stay when life gets hard. I thank God everyday to have you in my life, for listening to me, wiping my tears, making memories with me, and eating way too much Taco Bell with me.

I resume:

To summarize, I let myself get a little too deep into things that should simply be irrelevant. I let my anxiety get the best of me, and cared too much about what others think of me. While I can't say that I've completely pushed the small stuff off my shoulders, I was blessed to have somebody help get my mind off of it and pull me out of some frustrating water that I had gotten myself into.

Gonna be a busy week for me, so check out my Instagram for some fun pictures of what I'll be up to. The link is on the right hand side under "Follow Me"- just click the Instagram logo!

Here's to a lot of deep breaths and conquering the week that lies ahead of me,
Marissa Mayer

1 comment:

  1. I'm sorry you felt that way, let me know whenever that happens and I will stop it. Love you freaking much! <3