Thursday, July 14, 2016

Do What You Want

Good evening...another late night post. Oops!

You might be thinking that the title of this post is slightly sassy. I guess I couldn't come up with a better one to tie together some stuff...hope it works! And just as a PSA: I'm leaving early Friday morning for the National Youth Gathering in New Orleans and won't be back until Wednesday night at like I won't be writing for a little over a week probably.

Anyways, I went to my grandma's swing again the other night all by myself. Like I've said in many other posts, I actually love doing stuff by myself a lot. I call them "Marissa dates" and I know it sounds ridiculous, but it's very peaceful. I sat at the swing, read the rest of my book, and then felt compelled to pray. So I did. I asked for peace as I get ready for my trip, and that God would open my heart as I gathered with 25,000 other Christians to worship and learn more about my faith. I prayed for a lot of other personal things, and when I was done, I didn't feel ready to leave. I felt a weight removed from my shoulders.

It took me awhile to realize what happened, but I came to understand that I had just willingly placed my fears into God's hands knowing that He would handle them. I had basically told God "do what you want with me and my heart on this journey"...and it felt great to give more of my heart to Him. As I struggle with some relationships, I also feel ready to keep them or let them go, according to His will. I rest more peacefully knowing that I want His plan because it is better than mine.

After the swing, I went to Culver's all by myself and for the rest of the night I was in a great mood because I was starting to do what I wanted...and that means listening to God and following Him wherever He leads me. Life's just so much easier when you let God do what He wants. 

I hope you all have a wonderful finish to the week and make time to pray. As always, I'm praying for you and I cannot wait to come back and celebrate the one-year anniversary of DBB! God has definitely done some major work through me and in me in the past year. Thank you for sticking by my side and reading Depressed But Blessed. It means the world to me!

Lord, calm my fears and mold me into the Christian you want me to be,
Marissa Mayer

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