Friday, December 4, 2015

Hard Hits

Good morning viewers! Hope you had a great week! Sorry I haven't had much time to write lately...

On Tuesday night the dance team performed again and overall I had a good day. After school, my friend Melody and I went to go visit our other friend Emma and then I came back to school to get ready. I got my hair and makeup done and I felt really good about myself. I felt beautiful. And for once, happy.

The performance went well. I had been extremely nervous. But the adrenaline kicked in and before you know it, I had just nailed the second performance of the season. The team prayed as a group and then I played with the pep band for the rest of halftime. It all seemed to be perfect.

But just like the rest of life, all good things come to and end. I went to my locker to pack up some stuff and then it came. The depression hit me like a bus. I didn't know why, but it hurt. I walked to my car and cried a little on the way home. I went to my dad's and of course, I was missing my mom.

It happened again on Thursday morning. I was doing fine until my first hour class. I sat down and said something to my friend Melody, and then before you know it, I was snapped at by a classmate. The frustration of losing my friends and the stress of moving from parent to parent, everything just hit me really hard. The air in the room vanished and I got really warm. I struggled for air and I couldn't sit still. I squeezed my hands into fists and then tried holding onto my desk. I told myself to take deep breaths, but it was impossible. I was breathing quickly, trying to get back on track. Melody reached over and grabbed my hand, and before I knew it, the tears started escaping me. That's when I realized it. Anxiety attack. My teacher at the time, was in the middle of a devotion and it seemed like an eternity until he was finished. Finally, I got up and asked to leave. Without question I was dismissed. I talked to my school counselor and felt a little bit better, but the attack wiped me out for the rest of the day. I was on edge and extremely tired.

Today, I'm doing much better. You know why? Because the anxiety attacks and "hard hits" are temporary. They'll go away with time and a little bit of love. Although they hurt, I have faith that if I can get through it, you can too!

Christ suffered for our sins, and because of this, we can rejoice in the fact that we will be reunited with our Savior! There will come a day when we spend eternity with Him in His wonderful kingdom! He is preparing a place for you. A place where you will no longer have to suffer.

But what am I doing to help myself in the meantime? I'm surrounding myself with positive, Christ-centered people. People who are always willing to listen to me and make me smile. It's doing wonders for me. I've come to realize what kind of people I truly like spending time with and why. It feels amazing to be feeling a little bit better. Sometimes, little changes can make a difference. For example, I sat with some different people at lunch this week, and I had a really good time! I listened to some different music this week and put up some pictures in my new room at my mom's.

Don't be afraid of change; sometimes it can be more helpful than you might think.

Hope you have an amazing weekend! I'll see if I can do some more posts/pictures up on the blog. Hoping to get up to 6k views before the Christmas! Keep on sharing! And feel free to contact me with any positive and/or constructive feedback!

This pain is temporary my loves,
Marissa Mayer

1 comment:

  1. Hey Honey! I am SO proud that you know this is only temporary! Because you know who the true Healer is, He WILL get you through this! I love you more then you know! <3 Missed you yesterday!