Monday, December 28, 2015

Friendliness Is Key

Hey everyone...I had something I wanted to blog about last night, but I saved it for today. So here goes:

I got a text from somebody I know and he seemed upset and told me he has no friends. So I did some thinking.

We have 24 hours in a day. This comes out to 86,400 seconds a day. And how long does it take you to smile at someone? Certainly not very long. And sometimes, that's all it takes to make somebody's day. Or how long does it take to shoot someone a text and ask them how they're doing? For people who are on their phones a lot (this definitely includes me), this should be incredibly easy! 

So why don't we do it? In all honesty, I'm not sure. Maybe it's because we are sinful, selfish beings. But let me tell you, there have been days for me that have been made better by a simple smile, text, or comment. It's so simple, and I think it's something we should all do more often- just be friendly!

On the flip side, why should we do it? That answer is obvious. Because Jesus Christ served as not only our Savior, but our forever friend. It's through His death on the cross that we essentially have "BFF" necklaces around our necks. When we feel "friendless", know that He is our best friend. Who loved us enough to die for us. He is always willing to listen when we need somebody. He's just a prayer away. Isn't that amazing?

John 15:15 reads, "No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you."

So here's the challenge. Smile at 5 people you see a day...or more (even better!) Or compliment 5 people. Tell them you like something they're wearing, or tell them they did good on their presentation in class (and mean it!)

It's so lets start it. Make somebody's day today. Ready, and go!

Even a smile in it's simplicity is sweet,
Marissa Mayer

Sunday, December 27, 2015

Wanting to Grow...

Good afternoon! Happy Sunday to all my wonderful viewers, and...

Happy 5 Months (154 days) to Depressed But Blessed! It's been a wonderful time writing for all of you and I am proud to tell you that I'm up to 6,435 views as of right now. If you do the math, that's about 41 views a day...which might not be that many, but it's a great start!

I'm doing major blog renovations this afternoon...doing a lot of reading of other blogs and looking for good ways to improve my own blog.

If you have ANY good ideas for me, please please PLEASE email me! I'd love to hear from you!

I've come to realize how much time I put into my blog, and with school, I'm not putting in as much as I'd like. I'm really hoping that with the beginning of the year, I'll start to post every other day. (Although sometimes that can be hard, because I can't always come up with content). But I'll try to make time and post...whether it's just a quote, a good song I found, or a good point I found in my day... I'm hoping to be more active.

In all honesty, once in a while I question my blog. When I'm really busy, I wonder why I continue, when it seems I don't have much time. But I always come back to the conclusion that I want to help all of you. I know of those hot tears that drown you at night. The pain you can feel in a room full of people. The urge to shut the door and stay in bed all day. And to summarize all that: it's not fun. So, I keep hope that there are viewers out there that I am helping. That get at least a little something out of my posts.

And to all of you who view my blog on a daily basis (or whenever I happen to post), I love you all! There isn't a day that goes by that I'm not thankful for all of you. It's through your support that I continue to fight on, and want this blog to grow more than anything. Not only is the blog growing, so is my faith. And it's probably the most beautiful process I've ever seen in my life.

So I have a bit of a challenge for you. After reading this, if you haven't already shared my blog with somebody, do so. And then comment who you shared it with below. If you shared it with more than one person, great! Tell me who. 

Your support means everything to me,
Marissa Mayer

Saturday, December 26, 2015

Unwrapping His Love

Merry Christmas to all my lovely blog viewers out there! Sorry it's late...I hope you had a wonderful time spent with family and friends today!

So I did some thinking today and it led to what I want to write about tonight (or this morning, whatever) here goes (enjoy!)

A lot of kids opened hundreds of dollars worth of toys this morning. Some opened iPhones and Beats (I just bought myself some actually) and puppies and Playstations and Legos and the list goes on and on. But you wanna know something? It's all worthless. It means nothing in the end.

While it might be exciting to get all the stuff on your wishlist, (mine: Keurig...check!) we really need to hold fast to what's truly important. The greatest gift in history.

Jesus Christ. He was the best gift I received today. Today, and every other day. He never fails to wrap me in His love when I'm feeling down. I've prayed for His love so many times when I'm feeling bad. And He always comes through. I can feel His love being wrapped around me when I need it and it's truly beautiful to know that I have a God who can do that. Not only can He surround me in His love, God continues to show me miracles. Each and every day. Not necessarily changing water into wine (tried some of that this weekend...not my favorite!), but just the little things that I need to remember...

He remembered to wake me up this morning. Made sure that I drove safely, and that everyone drove safely around me. He made sure I ate. He made sure I had a smile on my face. He made sure I kept breathing and that my heart kept pumping. Isn't that beautiful?

But the best gift He ever gave me was His own life. He sacrificed Himself on the cross, just so I could live in eternity with Him. And on those super crappy days where it seems like there is no more oxygen for you to breathe, and the sun doesn't wanna shine, and the tears fall instead, remember that you were given an amazing gift. And that with that gift, it's all gonna be alright.

Remember that every morning, the gift of His love is present,
Marissa Mayer

P.S. Added some new pictures into the Photo Album :)

Monday, December 21, 2015

Help Me Stand Strong

Good evening! Today was a long day of finals and depression so here goes tonight's post...

I had my Physics final today. I had been really anxious before I walked into the classroom. I sat down, took a deep breath and said a prayer. I find it to be a good habit before I test, because it tends to calm me down a bit. And it did...for awhile.

But I saw the clock. I saw how much I had left to do. My brain shut down and I couldn't focus on what I was doing. I zoned out for probably ten minutes. But I forced myself to get my head back in the game and thankfully finished only a minute or two after the bell.

I didn't think I did too well, but I went on with my day. At the final bell I quickly checked my grade online. I got an 87.5% (which is a B)! I was beyond thrilled. My studying paid off and I didn't do too bad!

But then I went to dance practice. I didn't really want to. I was tired and just wanted to go home. After warm-ups we worked on technique and I couldn't seem to do anything right. I wasn't feeling well and I couldn't wait for practice to be over.

Finally, it was. I went out to my car and it was a dreary afternoon. Rainy, cloudy, and overall, just blah. There was plenty of traffic on the way home too. I walked into my mom's apartment and I just crashed. I laid on my bed for two hours, just on my phone, feeling emotionless. And then I just started crying. Emotional pain filled my body and I wished, for the millionth time, that I could feel normal. And by normal, I mean the Marissa that existed back in 6th grade. Before the depression. Before I knew what it was like to cry basically every day. Before the trials in my life started getting worse. Back when my only worry was what to draw in art class, or how to do basic algebra. I turned on some music and just laid there, curled up in a ball, soaking my blanket with my tears.

My mom came in and just watched me. After a while she left. I stayed there, knowing I needed to study and get things done. I prayed a little harder, held my own hands a little tighter, and just waited for it to pass. And it did. My mom took me to the store to pick up some things and then we went out to dinner. I came back home, listened to some more music, and finished making my best friend's Christmas present. The release of creativity really helped me settle down and forget about things for a while.

At the end of the day, I've come to realize, yet again, how great God's love for me truly is. He never fails to amaze me. My prayers were answered and He wrapped me in His peace. And I can trust that when I need it again, He'll be sure to give it to me. Because my God is good. He is faithful. He is loving.

Remember to pray when you are weak. I can promise you that He will answer. Have patience and He will surround you with His love and comfort. Below is the video to the skit "Everything" by Lifehouse. This song is truly beautiful and it helped me out today. I totally encourage you to watch it.

As always, feel free to comment or email me...your feedback means SO much to me!
Also follow me on Instagram and/or Twitter! Lots of good stuff there too!

When I am weak, He gives me His strength,
Marissa Mayer

Thursday, December 17, 2015

Sharps, Flats, and Naturals

Good evening! So glad we are nearing the end of the's been a long one so far. Today I have some thoughts about music and about how much it's impacted my life so far. Hope you enjoy!

We had our Christmas concert on Monday night and it went fairly well. I had a lot of fun and it was great to see all of our hard work put together at last. So the other night I got to thinking...when did my love for music really begin? And why do I love it so much?

The answer is 4th grade. I begged my mom to play the flute. There were some girls at my church who played and I fell in love with the way it sounded. Not going to lie, it started off pretty rough. I hated to practice and it was hard at first. I dreaded lessons every week and my mom thought I was going to give it up.

But I didn't. I played for church a handful of times, did a lot of talent shows, and my flute teacher told me I had real potential. I loved to play my flute after a while and a few years later, my 7th grade year, I told my mom I wanted to play another instrument.

So a few weeks later, I picked up an alto sax and started with that. This instrument too, had a rough start. I liked my flute better only because I wasn't good at alto. But with time, I slowly transitioned between instruments. I played flute for the first semester of high school, but because my director needed saxophones more, I joined the alto sax section. The music was so much more fun.

Sophomore year I joined jazz band and fell in love with playing so stylistically. And as ridiculous as it sounds, my saxophone has a name- Sam. We're a team, and in all honesty, that instrument has gotten me through so much. On bad days, I play. On good days, I play. Music has a way of making me feel better.

Not only does music make me feel better, but also my wonderful director, Mr. Thiel. He's one of my biggest support people in my life and I can't imagine living without him. We have so much in common and he's always there for me when I need him, or to make me laugh on a bad day. He's encouraged me to keep playing when I feel like giving up and to keep on praying when I feel hopeless.

It's important to have something and someone in your life who have your back in all stages of life. That means not only the good times but the bad times too. I'm sure you can think of those few friends that you could celebrate with but probably wouldn't want to tell your problems to. I have those too. But when you find those genuine people and passions for music, sports, or art...hold on to it. They are truly blessings from God- so don't forget to thank Him for them!

Life can be incredibly ugly. But with all the "flats", "sharps", and other "naturals" in our lives, they can still come together to create something beautiful- just like in music. I promise you that these tough times will build you into a stronger person. A stronger Christian. Someday, these battle wounds will be gone, and will only have made you stronger.

To quickly summarize my thoughts on this post (it's late so I'm sorry if I wasn't very clear):
Find something and someone to hold on to (preferably somebody with a strong faith who can encourage you in Christ). Use these blessings and remember that with these, your tough days can only paint a better picture in the end.

Much love to all of you,
Marissa Mayer

P.S. I'll see if I can get another post in this weekend...but we'll see!

Thursday, December 10, 2015

Take Your Time

Good evening! Got lots on my mind to share tonight...

I was on my way home from school tonight (after dance practice) and the road I take from school to home is a pretty busy highway. The speed limit is 65 mph but I always go a little bit over. Tonight it was rainy and there were plenty of cars on the road, so instead of going my usual 72, I slowed it down a bit. But then a truck came up behind me going much faster, he rode my tail and my driving anxiety kicked in. Finally, he passed me and then shortly down the road he began swerving in between cars, barely using his directional. It made me nervous, and I began to think about how often there are bad drivers on the roads. The ones who have to pass every single car on the road because they're in such a hurry.

Why are we all in such a hurry anyways? Sometimes it's because we are running late to school, an appointment, or work. But let's talk about figuratively "being in a hurry."

I know that when I was little, I was in a hurry to grow up. To ride my bike without training wheels, lose my first tooth and go to my first day of kindergarten. Later on, as I grew up, I still wished to "hurry up" with growing up. Get my first job, first boyfriend, my license, and even now I can't wait to go to college, get married and start a life of my own. But when you think about it, life goes by fast enough. Our lifetime is only a mere speck in the timeline of eternity. So why rush it?

I've learned that by slowing things down and taking my time, I can be more appreciative of the little things. Don't take life for granted, and at least try to make the best of things.

However, I also understand that this life can be extremely hard, and I think it's perfectly okay to take a day to yourself when you need it. On Sunday, all I wanted to do was lay in bed and be alone; my depression just captured me for the day. You also need to accommodate to your depression/anxiety. I just had to do this the other day in English class. I was about to take a test and my anxiety level was extremely high. I didn't think I'd be able to last the entire test in a room full of my classmates and a ticking clock on the wall. I spoke with my teacher before we began and she was quick to let me take the test in a room by myself. I know it can be embarrassing to have everyone watch you do your own thing like that sometimes, but most people are quite understanding. In my life, my teachers are all very caring. They all understand my condition and are willing to work with me when I need it. A few of them even offered to be someone to talk to if I need it.

So don't be afraid to take a break once in awhile or adjust some things to ease your anxiety; there's always gonna be those days where your depression can defeat you. Just remember that in the end, Christ has defeated it for you! Wait for the day that you no longer have to wipe your tears or let your anxiety control you. Life with Him in heaven is near, so take your time be patient.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be known to God." -Philippians 4:6

Cast your anxieties upon the Lord and He will give you His peace,
Marissa Mayer

P.S. We will be up to 6k views by the end of the night! Thank you, thank you, thank YOU!

Friday, December 4, 2015

Hard Hits

Good morning viewers! Hope you had a great week! Sorry I haven't had much time to write lately...

On Tuesday night the dance team performed again and overall I had a good day. After school, my friend Melody and I went to go visit our other friend Emma and then I came back to school to get ready. I got my hair and makeup done and I felt really good about myself. I felt beautiful. And for once, happy.

The performance went well. I had been extremely nervous. But the adrenaline kicked in and before you know it, I had just nailed the second performance of the season. The team prayed as a group and then I played with the pep band for the rest of halftime. It all seemed to be perfect.

But just like the rest of life, all good things come to and end. I went to my locker to pack up some stuff and then it came. The depression hit me like a bus. I didn't know why, but it hurt. I walked to my car and cried a little on the way home. I went to my dad's and of course, I was missing my mom.

It happened again on Thursday morning. I was doing fine until my first hour class. I sat down and said something to my friend Melody, and then before you know it, I was snapped at by a classmate. The frustration of losing my friends and the stress of moving from parent to parent, everything just hit me really hard. The air in the room vanished and I got really warm. I struggled for air and I couldn't sit still. I squeezed my hands into fists and then tried holding onto my desk. I told myself to take deep breaths, but it was impossible. I was breathing quickly, trying to get back on track. Melody reached over and grabbed my hand, and before I knew it, the tears started escaping me. That's when I realized it. Anxiety attack. My teacher at the time, was in the middle of a devotion and it seemed like an eternity until he was finished. Finally, I got up and asked to leave. Without question I was dismissed. I talked to my school counselor and felt a little bit better, but the attack wiped me out for the rest of the day. I was on edge and extremely tired.

Today, I'm doing much better. You know why? Because the anxiety attacks and "hard hits" are temporary. They'll go away with time and a little bit of love. Although they hurt, I have faith that if I can get through it, you can too!

Christ suffered for our sins, and because of this, we can rejoice in the fact that we will be reunited with our Savior! There will come a day when we spend eternity with Him in His wonderful kingdom! He is preparing a place for you. A place where you will no longer have to suffer.

But what am I doing to help myself in the meantime? I'm surrounding myself with positive, Christ-centered people. People who are always willing to listen to me and make me smile. It's doing wonders for me. I've come to realize what kind of people I truly like spending time with and why. It feels amazing to be feeling a little bit better. Sometimes, little changes can make a difference. For example, I sat with some different people at lunch this week, and I had a really good time! I listened to some different music this week and put up some pictures in my new room at my mom's.

Don't be afraid of change; sometimes it can be more helpful than you might think.

Hope you have an amazing weekend! I'll see if I can do some more posts/pictures up on the blog. Hoping to get up to 6k views before the Christmas! Keep on sharing! And feel free to contact me with any positive and/or constructive feedback!

This pain is temporary my loves,
Marissa Mayer