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Here I Am.

Two months away from writing and I'll be honest and say I don't even want to be doing this right now.

I'm embarrassed and I'm lost.

I cry every day. I eat to fill in some sort of void.

I'm driving myself crazy.

I don't want to write anymore because it's just too hard. I feel like I have to censor everything I want to say because I don't want people who know me personally to worry about me, or have the things I write change the way you all perceive me.

It was a mistake attaching my name to this blog. It was another mistake to put in so much effort and love into this blog only to reach what feels like a dead end.

Here I am.

I thought I could get over the sexual assault and move on. But I can't. It hurts me. The "what ifs" suffocate me. The memories scar me. The injustice angers me.

I just can't seem to catch a break anymore. The knot in my throat is choking me and I've never seen my body make so many tears.

To make matters worse, I s…

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